So tomorrow is Mother’s Day and I want to share a little about who my mom is.
As a kid, I had a pretty great mom. Not a great childhood, but my mom did what she thought was best.
Whenever I’d complain about chores or when we’d fight because she wouldn’t let me do what I wanted with my friends she’d say she was “the meanest mother in the world”. At the time I thought that to be true. All my friends got to go here and there, do this and that. But not me. And she’d say, “I’m not her mom, I’m your mom”. Ugh! I hated that. But she was right.
Mama and Me
My mom and I were the best of friends until I was 15 and I decided to move to my dads. She never really recovered from that. I’m sure she felt rejected. Never mind the abusive man she married or the drugs and alcohol I was exposed to daily by him. She was still hurt.
When I was 19, my mom and dad got back together and I stilled lived at home. We didn’t get along very well at all. So mostly I came and went as I pleased.
Things got worse between us when I married my husband. She wasn’t thrilled with him. He wasn’t an LDS Mormon like she wanted. He wasn’t a handy back yard mechanic kind of guy. He was a long haired guitar player.
So for the better part of 20 years, we were cordial and that was fine with me. Then daddy died. I spent 3 weeks with them then another 2 weeks with just mom. She was not only dealing with the loss of her life long love, but was also recovering from a mastectomy due to breast cancer. She still needed assistance getting dress, bathing etc.
A Little History
I guess the main thing to know here is she is also an alcoholic. I believe it started when my parents got divorced and sister was killed before her eyes. Growing up I never noticed her drinking, it was never a problem. Then one summer mom, dad, my 2 toddlers and myself all went to a family reunion 15 hours away. We stayed for several days and each night she got completely wasted. I’d never seen anything like it. I never knew she did that every night.
In The Lord’s Hands
So here I am leaving my alcoholic mom alone. Completely alone There was family to check on her, but she didn’t want their help. She’d call them if she needed something, but anything else was out of the question. She just wanted to be left alone. So I went home and left her alone. I prayed for the Lord to change her heart and bring her to Washington, but she was adimet, she wasn’t coming.
For months she would drink herself stupid, fall down and break bones. After several falls and 4 broken bones, her doctor final gave her a choice. Either she move to Washington or she goes into a nursing home.
We went to pack her things 2 months later and moved her to Washington. You are welcome to read about how the Lord blessed us and worked things out for good on my blog post Mobile Home Makeover.
Despite our differences, our mutual loss has brought us close together. She now lives 3 minutes away. Since we spend more time together and have worked out the amount of alcohol she consumes vs the amount of food she eats, her falls have stopped and we’ve become friends again. I enjoy spending time with her when she is sober.
I love my mom unconditionally and would do anything to help her enjoy what time she has left. When I think of her, I see the mom of my childhood. The women who spoiled me with her love and attention. The mom who did her best despite her situation.
I pray that the Lord would break her heart for him. That he would heal her brokenness and give her peace.
I love you mom. Happy Mother’s Day.
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